Posted by trexc42 on: February 08 2010

Step 1: Admit that you are powerless over your addiction

Whoops, sorry…I’m thinking of something else…

Step 1:

Choose the proper outfit and appropriate pre-film hangout

I was going for the “I’m trying to be an indie journalist” look, which is why I opted for my black “boyfriend” blazer, gray scarf, converses, and cross-body shoulder bag. I got a ride downtown (I’m also environmentally friendly) to my favorite SB hangout, Paradise Café, or, as I so adoringly call it, The Dice.  I took my usual seat at the bar and ordered up a Shirley temple (I think it’s important to stay sober while reviewing a movie [or, see the original step 1 above]. As I was sitting there, I started psyching myself out about the task I was about to undertake. Perhaps I just shouldn’t go to the film…I probably won’t understand it anyway. What if I don’t like it? Are there going to be any dinosaurs or vampires in it (and, if not, how will I relate to it?). 

Step 2:

Get to the theater and watch the movie

This of course, proved to be much more difficult than I would have thought. After convincing myself that this was something I could and should do, I headed over to the Metro 4, ready to check-in as a member of the press and take my seat. Of course, in the 5 minute walk from the Dice to the theater, I forgot the name of the movie I was going to see. I wasn’t sure if they were going to ask me at check-in what movie I was going to, so I had to take out my film festival schedule in front of all the people patiently waiting in line or milling around the outside of the theater. This made me feel like it was my first day of class and I had just pulled my campus map out of my backpack (which, sadly, I usually have to do even half way into the semester…I’m a bit of a forgetful person). Anyway, against all odds, I was allowed into theater 1 (on your left) for a screening of the 2009 Korean film “Private Eye.” Usually, when I go to movies by myself (which is quite often) I’m a little embarrassed about being there alone so I’ve learned little tricks to make it seem like I’m with com pany (like buying two sodas, or saving the seat next to you with a carefully placed jacket). But, upon reviewing my first movie, I found that there was no need for any of my normal solo-movie-going antics. Instead, I felt like I was supposed to be there alone. Perhaps people even saw my cross-body shoulder bag and thought…she must be someone important. 

Step 3:

Try to figure out something important to say about the movie you just saw.

Be gracious and appreciative of all the work that goes into making a film, but be honest about what you thought. Make your review witty, charismatic, and insightful all at once. Here are some examples in regards to Private Eye…

    “The cinematography and art direction were absolutely stunning but the story was a bit difficult for me to follow at times.”
                                
    “Unfortunately, I can’t speak Korean or read English so this film was a challenge for me.”

    “Hwang Jeong-min’s portrayal of the hesitant but charming Detective Jin-Ho was superb!”

Basically, just try to sound like you know what you are talking about regardless of your actual knowledge base or expertise. This goes for life in general as well. [I just employed another technique right there: Make sweeping generalizations that have little or nothing do with the film you are reviewing.]

Good luck with all of your future film-reviewing endeavors!

Categories: SB Film Fest

Tags: c2sbiff