Santa Barbara Man About Goleta

(for local cultural understanding)

City of Goleta and Strip Mall of Goleta Back Smoking and Bad Signage

Posted by paulrivas on: March 30 2010

And the winning name in the Goleta Smoke Shop Name Contest is... wait for it... Goleta Smokes! In super-neon! With an extra-flappy flag that says Smokes stuck in the ground at the Calle Real edge of the parking lot!

What's next? Goleta Drinks? Goleta Humps? Where are my wildfire victims? Where are my lung cancerous picketers? Is it asking too much for the community anti-respiratorian to show a little tact?

The mere fact that the word Smokes covers so much ground makes it seem unseemly. Even here in little Goleta, Smokes could very well mean anything from big bong blow-outs to proscribed premium puros. Are those really products that the City of Goleta wants to associate with in neon?

The smell of the surfaces of my eyeballs sizzling in the glow made me so nauseous that I couldn't come within 20 feet of the shop, so I snapped this photo for the Rivas Cultural Services file of business names that could be improved and resolved not to return until they at least change the name to Goleta Fuma, which would only bother about half as many people.

Categories: Services, Fotos

Tags: sbopinion, sblifestyle, sbhealth, goleta, goleta smokes, goleta fuma, neon, one sorry blog, business names that could be improved

6 Comments:

Comment by Michael on March 31 2010

Tu sabes albur? Quieres fumar mi puro, wey? Jajaja! Oh shit I just laughed in Spanish!

Comment by Paulrivas on April 01 2010

Jaja! Michael, you're just the sort of discerning reader that we're after! Yo no fumo, pero te recomiendo hablar con Elver - Elver González.

Comment by English speaking guy on April 01 2010

No offense, I can speak Spanish but this is freaking the United State of America! If you can speak English, than speak it!

Comment by Jim B. on April 01 2010

@English... you might want to check your command of your favorite language before insisting everyone else use it! Try Googling: "than vs. then" for starters.

Comment by justin on May 10 2010

Hey Paul Rivas, I understand your not the biggest fan of smoking but you need to understand that this is Santa Barbara. There are many medical marijuana dispensaries and smoke shops all over town. Being a Goleta local my whole life I was curious what good this place had to offer so I went to check it out. I did not notice an odor while entering the shop like you did. I did in fact had a very pleasant experience. The shop has nice hardwood floors, is well lit, and even has a separate room for all of the cigars. I even got a discount. I am in favor of this shop %100.

Comment by Paulrivas on May 10 2010

hi justin, i greatly appreciate your taking the time to comment, but if you read carefully i think you'll realize that i have nothing against smoking, i make no mention of the shop smelling, and all this post refers to is that the business name is uninspired and the signage is horrendous. thanks for reading though!