Posted by paulrivas on:
I don't always watch TV, but when I do, I watch NBA TV. (My wife's parents are soccer junkies, so we get every channel.) ((We live at her parents'.))
NBA Gametime is the best show on TV because NBA TV isn't really a real channel. It's TV, but instead of commercials there's infomercials for stuff like the Jupiter Jack.
All NBA Gametime requires of its highlight presenters is that they have super-tight game. Standard American English, African American Vernacular English, and hoop thug slang are equally represented. Even the white guys get crazy. The other day, Rick Kamla said Derrick Rose was 'bum-rushing the rim'.
So when new NBA TV presenter Shaq announced he'd give $1000 to anybody who got a tattoo of Charles Barkley kissing Dick Bavetta, and a Santa Barbara bartender called Emmet Bentley actually did it, and the NBA put him on TV to skype about it with Shaq, and Shaq issued Bentley a new challenge to get a tattoo of all four NBA TV dudes for another $1000, and Bentley agreed to do it instantly because he was skypeing from the tattoo shop, I SAW IT ALL!
Kenny Smith and Greg Anthony tried to clown Bentley for going immediately from the bar to the tattoo parlor, implying that he must have been drunk and shouldn't have sold out so cheaply. The bartender explained that while he does love bars, when his associate told him about the challenge he had been working and not drinking, so alcohol wasn't a factor in his decision to answer the call, and that this $1000 windfall was merely an unforseen consequence of his commitment to epic tats.
For those of you who don't have the good fortune to live with your in-laws and get every channel, behold another of Bentley's tattoos, the A.C. Slater as Slayer!
Seriously, if I even so much as order a water from this dude I'm tipping him $20.