Soccer Heaven, Gaucho Hell
Posted by paulrivas on:
Santa Barbara will be on display to the US soccer world this weekend when UCSB hosts the College Cup. Too bad the Gauchos were knocked out of the playoffs in an epic disaster.
The crazy game they lost at Cal was the greatest piece of sports radio ever, as broadcast by Gerry Fall and Mark Patton, but still, imagine going out like this on the road and having to watch some other team win the championship on your field three weeks later:
In the first half, a UCSB player does something that one of the linesmen sees. The ref doesn't see it, and neither commentator sees it, but the linesman sees it. After the UCSB guy does this something, the Cal guy straight up socks him, laying him out with one punch. The officials confer. The Cal player is given a yellow card. The UCSB player is given a red card, forcing UCSB to play one man down.
It's the first time Mark Patton has ever seen a college player punch a dude and stay in the game. Gerry Fall yells for an hour about what an idiot the ref is, pausing occasionally to apologize only to launch into it again at the next lull in the action, until…
UCSB scores in the 82nd minute! 1-0 Nachos! Suck it, Berkeley!
But wait, in the 89th minute now, hand ball on the Gauchos! Penalty kick for Cal! The cabrón who socked our guy fuckin’ scores! 1-1 with a minute left!!!
Gerry Fall speculates that the UCSB defender who looks like a stone-cold psycho might assault the referee after the game if the Gauchos lose.
The Gauchos lose in overtime. Cal celebrates. The final horn is still going when the ref and linesmen drop everything and run for their lives, Gauchos giving chase.
But really, welcome to Soccer Heaven, everybody.
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