Posted by Misc. Romance on:
I'm not a collector, in a traditional sense. I've recently been more sensitive to this fact since I've moved into my new house and I realized I don't have enough things to fill the space. In the past I've had to live a minimal lifestyle taking with me only the things that I need. If I didn't use it within the last six months then it would get tossed. Also, I've found that when I visit peoples houses they have all these collections of things like comics, magazines, art, CD's, movies...you get the picture. I started thinking about my behavior with things and what that says about me. I think it means that I need to dive deeper, and start a collection of something that will help me study a subject and really get to know it – like when you collect memories, and experience you supposedly become more wise.
Side note of honesty:
I collect things that might someday bring her back to me. I'm not a stocker by any sense, although I feel a little bit guilty for stocking the belongings of another. I think this is why i've never wanted to collect anything. Is it weird that I can't get rid of the photos from x's or small objects that they leave behind? Why do I feel the need to keep them? Is there power in an object? Is there power in objects coming together all at once? Am I totally insane? Yes.
I'm starting a grandiose Yacht Rock record collection. My first purchase is kenny Loggins "Alive" (see photo at the top) which I purchased from Amoeba records in san francisco on New Years Eve. At the moment the collection is only two records deep and I don't even have a turn table. But, somehow this collection of records is bringing me power in love, or am I totally making superstitious correlations to totally uncontrollable factors?
So the questions stands – Is there power in an object? Is there power in objects coming together all at once. What will happen when this record collection grows. Will this be some sort of of unstoppable black hole of love that opens up from the center of this collection and sucks me in never to be found? There must be a bit of someones soul in everything they touch, right? Then if I collect this object does this bring me closer to understanding them, sharing something with them or bringing them closer to my life? Channeling energy and all that kind of stuff. Or, maybe its like the old saying says, Speak of the devil and the devil may come. Maybe all of this Yacht Rocking has resurrected something I can't control?
All I know is that something is working. She walked
right into my life, out of the blue. Two weeks ago today she walking
into where I work then looked and me and said “I've been waiting to
come into this store my whole life.” What the fuck!? Who says that?
What are you trying to sell? I wasn't born yesterday. Who is this
Ahhhh! Im taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Keep it up beat man and sing for her! Stay focused...and don't forget what we are doing here. We're not in love. Say it. TAKE your headphones off you sappy bastard and Say it out loud! I. AM. NOT. IN. LOVE.
I really do love someone...Fuck! How could this have happened? This resistance isn't working, the power is toooooooo stroooooooooong! Here we go again folks. Now we get to play the waiting game...sleepless nights, waiting by the phone for it to ring, wondering if she feels the same way about me? I picked a hell of a time to quit drinking hard alcohol, thats for sure.
...is this really happening? I've been waiting for a girl like this to come into my life :)